The Bearded Infant

Daily Prompt: Those Dishes Won’t Do Themselves (Unfortunately)

by michelle w. on February 6, 2014

What’s the household task you most dislike doing? Why do you think that is — is it the task itself, or something more?

Let me start with all the chores I don’t mind doing. I don’t mind bagging up the trash and recycling and walking them out to the can in the back alley of our apartment.

Dishes don’t bother. Whoever is home first makes dinner and the other cleans up, very equitable. Bath time is fun, at least with the infant. The seven year old usually protests going in and then protests when its time to come out.

And poopy diapers? Well, as the man in the purple jumpsuit said,

It don’t mean shit to Jesus

I confront full on blow outs with the same resolve I do spring cleaning, as a necessary evil that always visits out of season. When it comes to poop you’re going to get dirty, so I just suck it up and do what needs to be done. Although, I do admit to over wiping, thats an inherent problem with sponge baths, or in this case tissue baths.

My hated chore is feeding the infant. I don’t find it a nuisance, just utterly disgusting. For some reason there is always a stream of the precious breast milk streaming down the side of her cheek and pooling on her neck.  When there is a particularly bad flow, the milk soaks into her jumper. In either case there is the stench of old, dry milk.

The milk hides away in her beautifully luscious folds of fat where it collects stray hairs. Blahhhhhhhhhh, gross. I usually end up stuffing burp cloths, or cloth napkins under her chin making my gorgeous sweat pea look like a bearded doll, but breast milk is too strong an adversary. It always wins.

jimmie g


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