69. The Lazy Muses Podcast

The Sexiest Films. Ever! Part I

In honor of this being episode 69 we’re taking a look at the sexiest films, that are good, or at least don’t suck, or show famous people naked.

Today we welcome friend of the podcast, and a star of stage and screen. He will recognize his voice from The Help, Joe Bob from True Blood, Grey’s Anatomy, Heart of Dixie, Justified, he is also one half of the creative team behind the excellent Squirrel and Donkey Show. Mr. Ted Welch.

I bet anything that my list is longer than Erik’s. When doing research for this epic topic Film noir came up a lot, as did femme fatale, Brian De Palma, and James Spader. I broke my lists into five sublists.

  1. The Just Because there’s nudity doesn’t make it sexy list

  2. The When you have a voice like that list, or, The Work of Kathleen Turner list

  3. The Mickey Rourke Soft core Porn Canon

  4. The I thought it was a complex drama list, i.e., The Alyssa Milano Softc ore Porn Canon

  5. The Missionary List- my predictable, boring position, I’m sorry honey its just more comfortable for my bad back list.

Just Because there’s nudity doesn’t make it sexy list

  • Titanic (1997) Although I do appreciate Kate Winslet willingness to expose herself.
  • Love & Other Drugs (2010) Jake and and Hathaway bare a lot, but its sex, not sexy.
  • Body of Evidence (1993) Not the first time we saw Madonna’s boobies, but at least the first time is was believable. Willem Dafoe, Joe Mantegna.
  • Boogie Nights (1997) Just because its about sex doesn’t mean its sexy. Although Heather Graham’s roller girl is sexy, as is Julianne Moore.
  • Wild Things (1998) Yes one of the hottest pool scenes ever is in this flick but its just too easy.

The Kathleen Turner List

  • Body Heat (1981) William Hurt, Kathleen Turner. Mickey Rourke. Like other sexy films with Turner, its her voice that makes it hot. Back in the 80’s she could have read the Bible and guys could still have gotten off.
  • Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1998) Turner, Turner, Turner.
  • Crimes of Passion (1984) WOULD YOU GREEN LIGHT THIS? A fashion designer moonlights as a hooker named China Blue. She is terrorized by a dildo waiving street evangelist. Kathleen Turner, and wielding the dildo is Anthony Perkins.

The Mickey Rourke Soft core Porn Canon

  • 9 ½ Weeks (1986)
  • Angel Heart (1987)
  • Wild Orchid (1989)
  • Exit in Red (1996)
  • Another 9 ½ Weeks (1997)

And then the ‘roids took over and he couldn’t make those types of films anymore.

The Alyssa Milano Soft core Porn Canon

  • Poison Ivy II (1996)
  • Embrace of the Vampire (1995)
  • Conflict of Interest (1993)

Send comments to feedback@thelazymuse.com, leave some on facebook or direct message via twitter. Jimmie can be found @thejimmieg and Erik’s handle is @TotallyKidding.

 Check out thelazymuse.com for past episodes, show notes and the full list of our weekly beers. If you dig our show please show some love by liking us on FB and leaving a review on iTunes.
Thanks for listening to The Lazy Muses Podcast. We’ll type at you later.
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