A large black cock washes out the screen. It wasn’t the only thing in the frame, but its all that I can remember. There is the foggy recollection of some white guy passed out in a hot tub. More prominent in my mind is the prodigious member of ebony, uncomfortably, hilariously, hanging there on screen for eternity.
At least it feels like an eternity when your six year wakes from a dead sleep and a gleeful smile wraps around her head at the sight of the huge dong. Try as my wife and I might we could not keep a hand over her eyes. She had taste of the forbidden and was now ravenously hungry for more.
Looking back on it we should have made the three minute trek back to her room. We thought it safe to proceed with movie night sans Disney morality, disabled dolphins, or furry red puppets. We were wrong. I see that now. Experts call it accidental parenting. A very polite term, gracious really. Professionals in my hood call it dumb as shit.
But here’s the punchline. A few days later my daughter walks in while I’m taking a pee. Her response isn’t “oh, excuse me father.” No. Nothing so courteous, or without need of future counseling. My daughters response upon walking in on my peeing was “oh, you have a baby penis daddy”.
She has seen a comically large dick and she can never un-see that. An unfair measuring stick. To the ruin of my little sweet pea I say I’m sorry. To my daughter’s future husband I say “You’re not good enough for her anyway. BUT. If you’re going to watch a grown up movie, take my grand kid to the bedroom for fucks sake”.
I…(hangs his head and takes his lumps)