Garrett ‘s pocket began to tickle his side, a charming spell he cast on his cell phone because he was tired of missing calls. It was his mom. Shit. She knew his schedule to well for him not to answer. “Hey mom, what’s up?” Garrett couldn’t resist the “vulgar” greeting.
Silence hung in the air. Garrett felt like shit. “Sorry mom. I know you don’t like that stuff”, Garrett offered. Fear clung to his mothers words when she finally spoke. “Its dad” she said, someone cast a spell and he’s frozen solid”.
Garrett was now the silent one, although his teeth were a symphony of cracking knuckles as his molars ground against one another. “Mom”, he asked, “is dad holding anything at all?”
“Yes, a small box with an open lid. What is it Garrett? Can you help?”, his mother asked.
I’m the only one who can help. “Yes, I can fix it. I need you to get as much of the family gathered as possible, especially the cousins. As many as possible mom. Its very important”, Garrett stressed.
Garrett had jinxed his brother’s jinx. Epic fail obviously. He had put a glamour spell on the box, making it look a small hinged box of black velvet. The kind of box one in which one might find a ring. His brother’s girlfriend was the intended target. She was meant to be frozen solid. With only one way to break the spell. Laughter.
Not just any type of laughter. Garrett had labored three months crafting this jinx. The only laughter that could melt this ice was humiliation. At least it wouldn’t take long. Garrett had plenty of that to spare.
He started by letting everyone now that dad was okay. The disappointment in the room hung in the air like a fart in a car. Its gonna be a tough room.
Garrett readied himself as though he were inviting someone to punch him on the nose.
“Uncle Ronny is staying in the guest bedroom, where he likes to wear, well, nothing. A couple of weeks ago Beth walked into his room and saw what a prodigious man Uncle Ronny is. I tried to side track talk of how endowed he is by chastising Beth for walking in on people. It didn’t work”.
Garrett explained how just this morning his little daughter Beth, only five years old, walked in on him peeing. She din’t offer an apology, nor did Beth hurry to leave. Instead she stood looking at her father a moment and gave him that punch to the nose by saying, “Daddy. You have a baby penis”.
Waves of laughter melted the ice in torrents. The gurgling sound of wet laughter came from his father. Beth’s laughter was like a desert sun over winter Alps.
That was Garrett’s last jinx and the last time he told the Baby Penis story. Though he would hear it for the rest of his life.
The phone rings. It’s your mother and she’s upset. “What’s wrong?” you ask. “It’s your father. A spell has been cast upon him and he’s been frozen solid.” You pause, knowing two things that your mother doesn’t: 1) This is your fault and 2) you’re the only one who can fix it. “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll take care of it.” Write this scene.