Category Archives: The Lazy Muses Podcast

70. Best Movie Fistfights. The Lazy Muses Podcast

The Lazy Muses Podcast is a weekly discussion about Beer, TV, and Film.

What you looking at? You want a piece of this ‘cast? Huh? This week we talk about the Best Movie Fistfights. No feet, no head butting, just fists.

Send comments to feedback@thelazymuse.com, leave some on facebook or direct message via twitter. Jimmie can be found @thejimmieg and Erik’s handle is @TotallyKidding.

Check out thelazymuse.com for past episodes, show notes and the full list of our weekly beers. If you dig our show please show some love by liking us on FB and leaving a review on iTunes.

Thanks for listening to The Lazy Muses Podcast. We’ll type at you later.

I got pretty far into my list and realized there were no picks that involved CGI, so I decided to not allow fistfights with special effects, excluding The Matrix and Terminator 2. I’m fine with that.

Jimmie G.

Fistfights List Rules

No martial arts. None. These are fistfights. Exception for semi-martial arts. No Van Damme or Karate Kid or Segal or Bruce Lee. Swayze is accepted. Other exceptions case-by-case.

  • Extra points for realism. Ugliness is rewarded.
  • Fists over feet. Too much feet is too few fists.
  • No James Bond.

Erik Gratton

 Other Muses picks.

Ted Welch: Bloodsport, Lionheart, Best of the Best-Eric Roberts, James Earl Jones, Sally Kirkland. This movie has one of the most overwrought, my best-friend is dead, so cue inspirational I’m going to dish up some comeuppance montage. There are Eric Roberts tears and his patented, I’m sad voice. Its awesome. Its also NOT on my list.

James Weber “They Live” with Rowdy Roddy Piper and Keith David. Epic. Longest fight ever, that is both absurd and fantastic!

Gregory HarrisThe Rundown (2003) A Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson joint with Seann William Scott and Christopher Walken. Would You Green light This? A tough aspiring chef is hired to bring home a mobster’s son from the Amazon but becomes involved in the fight against an oppressive town operator and the search for a legendary treasure.

Bryn Boice Road House has ballet fistfights of doom–

Anthony Howe Any fight scene in Ip Man

Mike Cobb Left turn, Clyde.

Benjamin Pulanco Every which way but loose.

Chris Collision: They Live. Second place: Hooper. Third place: everything else.

Dan Schultz TV, but Dan’s fight with the Colonel in Deadwood. Eye-gougingly perfect.

Rich Fromm It’s not much of a fistfight but more of a beating. Goodfellas. Pesce’s foot to Billy Batt’s face.I agree with the Harrison Ford comment above. He had some good ones. Especially against the Nazis. I would say that the Truck Sequence in Raiders counts as a fistfight and I would put that in the top 3. Easily.

Showdowns-Erik Gratton

  • Road House: For a good BUICK…
  • They Live: Everyone’s favorite. For good reason.
  • Every Which Way But Loose: Butt loose?
  • Any Which Way You Can: Second best Orangutan movie on the list.
  • Nothing to Lose: I used this movie to teach a class. At a college. I was an educator.
  • The Big Country: Maybe my favorite.
  • Shane: Wouldn’t be the movie it is without this fight.
  • A Soldier’s Story: Adolph Caesar and Denzel Washington, wow.
  • Lethal Weapon: Best front-lawn Christmas-time Busey brawl in film history.
  • Popeye: Matthew Hancock points out the Bluto fight. Classic. Baaaad movie, though.
  • Batman: Hancock rightly suggests the final bell-tower battle.

One-punch classics-Erik Gratton

  • Crocodile Dundee: In the restaurant. Will Mick ever get the hang of city living?!
  • Back to the Future: “Hey you, get your damn hands off h–oh, Biff.”
  • Groundhog Day: “Phil?” “NED?!”
  • Die Hard: Bonnie Bedelia does what we all wanted to do to William Atherton in the 80s.
  • Snatch: Brad Pitt’s shrug is priceless.
  • The French Connection: “Where do you want it?”

Grab Bag: Erik Gratton

  • Raiders of the Lost Ark: The fight under the airplane.
  • Bourne Ultimatum: Better than the magazine fight from Supremacy, the chase leading into the fight is also special.
  • Raising Arizona: Tons of good low-budget action, here. The fight I’m highlighting is in the double-wide.
  • Romancing the Stone: The climactic fight on the parapet. Joan Wilder using her hands and a cigar to great effect.
  • Vision Quest: The final wrestling match is the best among many.
  • Elf: “He’s an angry elf.” Brilliant.
  • Fight Club: Best fight among many is Ed Norton by himself.
  • Transporter 3: Only slightly joking, here. In the garage, Statham vs 10 or so interchangeable henchmen. Fun.

Brawls: Erik Gratton

  • West Side Story: Dancy, brilliant, racially tinged and more suspenseful than should be possible in a Big Hollywood Musical.
  • Slap Shot: Don’t look sideways at a Hanson brother. Seriously.
  • Trainspotting: Begby is no joke.
  • Hooper (h/t collision): Funny, strange, weirdly slow bar brawl. Fantastic.
  • Cannonball Run: Definitely not on Hooper’s level. Feels like a huge cream pie brawl without any pastries.

Jimmie’s Boring List

1. Bourne Ultimatumn

The fight in Tangiers. Beautifully violent and brilliantly choreographed. This is one of the best fight scenes in an action movie. There is almost no dialogue during the fight which actually makes the choreography more violent. Often times fight scenes can diminish the ugliness of violence with pithy dialogue, making it less dangerous. The grunts, the focus and difficulty of beating another person to death is gruesome. Matt Damon choking Édgar Ramírez brings you as close as you’re going to get murder outside of a snuff film.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLt7lXDCHQ0

2. The Karate Kid

The Fight- ”Sweep the leg scene” this introduced us to the crane kick, “you begniner luck” and this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMH_P2oVzDI John Esposito’s ‘You’re the best around’.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMH_P2oVzDI

3. Fight Club

The Fight: “I wanted to destroy something beautiful scene” Ed Norton takes on Oscar winner Jared Ledo. Jared was a pretty boy in this flick but not after Ed destroys it. Toothless, swollen and bloody mouthed, Angel Face is too far gone to even tap out.

4. Rocky I & II

The Fights: Apollo Creed final fights. Both fight scenes are intense and thrilling. I have seen both fights a dozen times and yet each time I get caught up in cheering out loud “Go Rock, go”. Also, we continue to find ways of sneaking in Sly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSK-Iv3gh9I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEGY_fLBCsQ

5. Enter the Dragon

The Fight: Every fight in this movie is great but number one is Bruce Lee taking down Bolo Yueng, who would later gain fame as JVD’s nemesis in Blood Sport. Bruce finishing Bolo off by jumping on his chest and turning right and then left. You don’t see Bolo’s chest splattered on the ground but you get the point. You kill a friend of Dragon and you get dead.

6. True Romance

The Fight: Alabama vs. Virgil. Patricia Arquette and James Gandolfini in the hotel room. Virgil beats the shit out of Alabama and then monologues, which we all know will cost the villain everything. Alabama gets her guy with a corkscrew.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_pbN8BmWk0

7. Road House (1989)

The FIght: The Swayze (Dalton) vs Marshall Teague (Jimmy) we just talked about this movies last week, and in other episodes. The scene begins with the Swayze saving his bff from a burning home then flying through the air to knock the bad guy off of a dirt bike. This scene also gives us the eminently quotable “I use to fuck guys like you in prison”. Also when Baddie McBaderson takes out the gun and threatens to kill the Swayze “the old fashion way” the Swayze kicks the gun out of his hand, rips out his throat and roundhouses hum into the lake. This is the fight equivalent of dropping the mic and walking away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5E4GEUkgq1U#t=72

8. Lethal Weapon (1987)

The Fight: Mel vs Busey in loco y loco beatdown.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnSHQHXvaTU

9. Bloodsport (1988)

The Fight: JVD had to make the list, and in every fight movie he does there is something awesome, but this is the one that started it all. This film introduced us to the herculean hammies that allow this man to suspend via splits between two moving trucks. The fight against none other than Bolo Yeung for Enter the Dragon. Bolo, afraid of losing, blinds JVD with some kind of powder, the blind JVD reaches deep and gives us some of the best pain faces in movie history.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0YDuSLXcX8

10. They Live (1988)

The Fight: Roddy Piper vs Keith David all because Keith’s character won’t put on the special sun glasses that will allow him to see the aliens.

11. Snatch

The Fight: Brad Pitt is suppose to throw one last fight…he doesn’t.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kT_pS_4OO7E#t=146

12. Ip Man (2008)

The Fight: The ten black belts fight. Simultaneous but plausible due to beautiful, ballet like fight choreography.

http://www.ign.com/videos/2013/01/30/ip-man-10-man-fight

13. Grosse Pointe Blank

The Fight: Ballpoint pen to the neck in the high school hallway.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0ScNLt2zNc

14. Way of the Dragon (1972)

The Fight: This is all about the names on the fight card. Bruce Lee vs furry, Ewok on the shoulders Chuck Norris.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Isnu0wtZHGc

Boxing: Erik Gratton

  • Rocky: Not pretty or realistic, but great storytelling.
  • Tough Enough: Dennis Quaid in the fight that inspired the King Hippo character in Mike Tyson’s Punch Out.
  • Bad Santa: Everyone gets punched in the bards.
  • The Hammer: Adam Carolla in a really good boxing movie.
  • Diggstown: All of the Louis Gosstt, Jr, please.
  • Snatch: The boxing stuff is all really well-done.
  • Blood Sport: Donald Gibb/Bolo Yeung featuring way too much gloating by a good guy before the bell rings.
  • Triumph of the Spirit: Your basic Auschwitz Boxing Movie. Willem Dafoe and Edward James Olmos.

Erik’s Bag of Crap List

  • Far and Away: “Toe the Line, Gentlemen!!”
  • Godfather: Oh, the trashcan.

Thats the list. Next up is Best Restaurant or Kitchen Scene.

Want to throw your two cents in? You can. Find The Lazy Muses Podcast on Skype. All you need is a mic so you don’t sound like you’re in a tun can. We hope to hear that bloopy-watery sound Skype makes.

Until then…We’ll type at you later.

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69. The Lazy Muses Podcast

The Sexiest Films. Ever! Part I

In honor of this being episode 69 we’re taking a look at the sexiest films, that are good, or at least don’t suck, or show famous people naked.

Today we welcome friend of the podcast, and a star of stage and screen. He will recognize his voice from The Help, Joe Bob from True Blood, Grey’s Anatomy, Heart of Dixie, Justified, he is also one half of the creative team behind the excellent Squirrel and Donkey Show. Mr. Ted Welch.

I bet anything that my list is longer than Erik’s. When doing research for this epic topic Film noir came up a lot, as did femme fatale, Brian De Palma, and James Spader. I broke my lists into five sublists.

  1. The Just Because there’s nudity doesn’t make it sexy list

  2. The When you have a voice like that list, or, The Work of Kathleen Turner list

  3. The Mickey Rourke Soft core Porn Canon

  4. The I thought it was a complex drama list, i.e., The Alyssa Milano Softc ore Porn Canon

  5. The Missionary List- my predictable, boring position, I’m sorry honey its just more comfortable for my bad back list.

Just Because there’s nudity doesn’t make it sexy list

  • Titanic (1997) Although I do appreciate Kate Winslet willingness to expose herself.
  • Love & Other Drugs (2010) Jake and and Hathaway bare a lot, but its sex, not sexy.
  • Body of Evidence (1993) Not the first time we saw Madonna’s boobies, but at least the first time is was believable. Willem Dafoe, Joe Mantegna.
  • Boogie Nights (1997) Just because its about sex doesn’t mean its sexy. Although Heather Graham’s roller girl is sexy, as is Julianne Moore.
  • Wild Things (1998) Yes one of the hottest pool scenes ever is in this flick but its just too easy.

The Kathleen Turner List

  • Body Heat (1981) William Hurt, Kathleen Turner. Mickey Rourke. Like other sexy films with Turner, its her voice that makes it hot. Back in the 80’s she could have read the Bible and guys could still have gotten off.
  • Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1998) Turner, Turner, Turner.
  • Crimes of Passion (1984) WOULD YOU GREEN LIGHT THIS? A fashion designer moonlights as a hooker named China Blue. She is terrorized by a dildo waiving street evangelist. Kathleen Turner, and wielding the dildo is Anthony Perkins.

The Mickey Rourke Soft core Porn Canon

  • 9 ½ Weeks (1986)
  • Angel Heart (1987)
  • Wild Orchid (1989)
  • Exit in Red (1996)
  • Another 9 ½ Weeks (1997)

And then the ‘roids took over and he couldn’t make those types of films anymore.

The Alyssa Milano Soft core Porn Canon

  • Poison Ivy II (1996)
  • Embrace of the Vampire (1995)
  • Conflict of Interest (1993)

Send comments to feedback@thelazymuse.com, leave some on facebook or direct message via twitter. Jimmie can be found @thejimmieg and Erik’s handle is @TotallyKidding.

 Check out thelazymuse.com for past episodes, show notes and the full list of our weekly beers. If you dig our show please show some love by liking us on FB and leaving a review on iTunes.
Thanks for listening to The Lazy Muses Podcast. We’ll type at you later.

Best Movies of 1987, Part II

We wrap up the monumental year of film that was 1987. If you don’t remember that year then take a listen and then hop in your way back machine and check out these fantastic flicks. These really are some of the best films.

Best Movies of 1987. Lazy Muses Podcast-E65

This was a big year with dozens of great movies. As the title suggests we couldn’t get it all in one episode. For part one Erik and I talk about all the movies that didn’t make out list from 1987.

We both had several lists for this list. One of mine was ‘Better on Erik’s List’ list, which is of course the films I read about but didn’t see and sounded pretentious enough to make his list (that last bit is to see if anyone is actually reading the post). Another of my lists was ‘So this movie happened’ list. One title from that was the Madonna tome ‘Who’s that girl’. The movie Disorderlies is also discussed.

Erik had a similar, but better titled list. He went with ‘So very Wow!’ list, which I love. We talk guilty pleasures from 1987, movies that are not sci-fi, and more than two dozen films that are worth conversation but didn’t make our personal cut for The Best Movies of 1987. 

Thanks for reading. I’ll type at you later.

Jimmie G